Acknowledgments This book is dedicated to my wife Elizabeth and my sons Arthur and John May I always endeavor to make your kingdom a proud and happy one I would also offer thanks to the friends who gave me so much encouragement and support Paige Braddock Lex Fajardo Alena Carnes Vicki Scott and Brian Fies thank you for your ideas and endless enthusiasm Thanks also to Andrea Colvin an editor bold enough to take a chance on a book about medieval boogers I’m grateful to my story editor Michael Wexler who endured my snippy e-mails and steadfastly guided me through my own creative bog and onto dry land And to the fantastic team at Andrews McMeel particularly Dorothy O’Brien Shelly Barkes Tim Lynch and Kirsty Melville You guys are the greatest
Chapter 1 The morning sun shone through the tall windows of Castle Boo’Gar as King Mewkus and his faithful wizard Edwart sat in the game room playing a relaxing game of Castles and Cantaloupes You can’t move your game piece like that said King Mewkus Yes I can said Edwart I rolled a nine which gives me the Charm of Dexterity The Charm of Dexterity is on a seven roll replied the king 5
OO nnnnnnn NY LHIT A OO I LI V
Yes but I captured a Pixie of Ripeness on my last move That makes all my rolls a seven snapped the wizard The king was outraged Where did you find a Pixie of Ripeness in the Cave of the Anxious Beaver That’s not even possible Your Majesty replied his old friend calmly I do wish you’d learn the rules of this game We’ve been playing every morning for nine years The king tossed his game piece to one side and slumped back in his chair Well I wish you didn’t have those bushy eyebrows Too bad wishes don’t come true Suddenly the door to the game room burst open FATHER shouted Princess Phlema FATHER He’s GONE The startled king knocked over his cup of turnip tea spilling it on the carpet Oh dear Phlema said the annoyed king Now look what you’ve done 7
