One On my last morning at home the giant orange sun rose into the fiery sky As I biked to Aunt Ivy’s I could hear her words Red sky at night sailors delight red sky in the morning sailors take warning I couldn’t shake the sense of dread that trickled down my spine My palms stuck to the handlebars Although it was still early my skin was already damp from the heat I turned off the highway and onto the gravel lane Aunt Ivy was sitting on the porch when I came through the gate She held a mug against her chest Her oxygen tank rested at her feet Another mug sat on the table at her elbow For me Coffee too much milk no sugar 1
She paused every few words to breathe Her lungs had to work twice as hard as anyone else’s I dropped my bike onto the grass and settled in beside her She asked You’re all packed Passport Pointe shoes Toothbrush Three pairs of new pointe shoes with ribbons and elastics sewn on I replied A few shallow breaths You’ll love New York I went there before you were born with your dad It’s got such an energy to it bursting with skyscrapers and people I sipped my coffee to avoid responding I had auditioned for the summer intensive because that’s what my ballet teachers expected of their advanced students Two months of no training was too long Muscles lost their strength flexibility flexibility and precision in less But I had not expected to get in I kept waiting for excitement to settle in the jitters of happiness Girls fought for the chance to train with the renowned teachers at Joffrey Ballet School But I just felt anxious Dad signed me up for ballet when I was seven Since then he had often found Aunt Ivy and me dancing barefoot in her backyard surrounded 2 KATHERINE RICHARDS
by flowers She’d leave her oxygen tank on the step Out on the grass she’d raise her arms to her shoulders and twirl head thrown back I’d spin beside her Do you feel that Nova she’d ask Do you feel it And there with Aunt Ivy beside me I always felt the bubbled joy in my chest In those moments it felt like she didn’t have cystic fibrosis That she could do anything she wanted with her life She seemed at her best when we spoke ballet anything Her breathing appeared less burdened easier fuller better Bug Aunt Ivy leaned toward me bringing me back to the front porch New York Are you excited I stirred my coffee focusing on the swirling liquid in my mug Yeah just nervous She settled back into her chair Perfectly normal but it’s going to be wonderful I can feel it I can’t wait to hear all about it I left Aunt Ivy’s at nine with a cucumber sandwich sandwich tucked in my basket She wanted me to have 3 NOVA IN NEW YORK
