Holy underpants Batman said Ravi eyes bulging behind his steamed-up glasses that’s INCREDIBLE It’s a mega-mutant monster I wish I’d thought of this said Mateo licking his lips It looks delicious That is one eee-norrrr-mous sandwich announced Deena in her best funny voice That sandwich deserves a place in the She stopped short glancing up at the teacher who’d appeared in the doorway Who’s that she whispered And where’s Mr Hargrove Good morning students said the teacher in question heading heading for Mr Hargrove’s desk She was a tall lady with a shock of long red hair and a huge bulging stomach She was clearly several months pregnant My name is Mrs Ample and I’ll be teaching your class this morning If you could leave your projects at the back and find your seats we’ll be ready to begin What happened to Mr Hargrove asked Ravi wiping his glasses on the front of his T-shirt He’s supposed to be putting on a treasure hunt for us today A joint one with Miss Patterson’s class There was a loud chorus of disappointed groans as the students remembered their last substitute teacher who’d treated them to a two-hour math test in silence followed by an hour of spelling Don’t worry Mrs Ample assured them I understand from Sandwich Shenanigans
Miss Patterson that the treasure hunt is already set up with more than a hundred fact cards hidden around the school grounds for you to find Each card covers a different fact about the United States so you’ll be learning as you go Don’t look so anxious she added There’s no reason why the hunt can’t go ahead as planned once we’ve taken attendance The children’s groans turned to cheers and all thoughts of Mr Hargrove were forgotten especially when Mrs Ample explained that there’d be prizes for the class who found the most cards This was their class’s big chance to beat those boastful show-offs next door The students ferried their projects to the long table at the back of the room with Sam Witt’s sandwich in pride of place like a glowing beacon of breaded wonder then hurried back to their seats for attendance Here Yep Present Mrs Ample ticked them all off one by one apart from Shaniqua who would probably be late as usual and then sent them next door to get their instructions for the treasure hunt She’d be out to help supervise in a bit she told them once she finished getting everything ready for the fair WHOOSH SCRAM Missing
CLATTER The students didn’t need to be told twice They were off dashing into the hallway and pushing past one another to get to Miss Patterson’s classroom before they missed out on any clues And there was Shaniqua tearing towards them with a giant collage collage tucked under her arm shouting something crazy about an escaped tiger Ha ha Good one said Ravi I hope he doesn’t eat the fact cards before we find them Don’t worry said Mateo I’ll knock him out with one of Mom’s sugar-free rock buns They’re enough to finish anyone off Mateo was always complaining about his mother’s unappetizing new recipes This isn’t a joke Shaniqua told them glancing back over her shoulder I’m serious Yeah right said Deena Just like the time you found a piranha fish in the swimming pool or the time the headmaster got kidnapped by clowns Shaniqua was known for her active imagination Come on Sam interrupted We don’t want them to start without us Leave your project at the back of the class with the others he told Shaniqua who was sticking to her story like glue There’s a bit of space next to my sandwich But watch out for the flags I don’t want them getting squashed before the fair this Sandwich Shenanigans
afternoon And with that he was off jostling into Miss Patterson’s room with the others anxious to begin Squashed flags were the least of Sam’s worries as it turned out Maybe if he’d known the terrible fate awaiting his poor sandwich he’d have stopped to kiss it goodbye before he left Maybe even a farewell nibble of stray salami while he straightened the flags one last time Because when everyone returned to the classroom some two hours later there were no flags left for Sam to straighten No salami slices making a break for freedom No delicious fillings of any kind fighting for space on a bouncy bed of bread No colorful sauces oozing out of the sides like liquid happiness because SHOCK HORROR and some high-pitched squeals of disbelief Sam’s sandwich wasn’t there anymore It wasn’t at the back of the class where he’d left it and it wasn’t at the front of the class with Mrs Ample’s cardigan and folder either It wasn’t on his desk with his Star Wars pencil case and it wasn’t under his desk with the dried mud off his sneakers and an abandoned pile of pencil shavings It wasn’t anywhere The king of all sandwiches the cheesy meaty salad-y emperor of lunchtime creations had disappeared Gone Vanished without a trace Missing
