Malcolm was starting to cheer up On weekends ghost hunting comes first Right Dandy said Ghost hunting comes first Right after I do my homework mow the lawn clean my room and bathe the dog He counted out each item on his fingers Malcolm’s cheerful mood quickly drooped We’ll find time It was then that the basement door burst open A voice much like a bullhorn blared Mom says it’s time for dinner snothead Malcolm’s sister Cocoa stood at the top of the stairs She wore Irish green eye shadow and clown red lip gloss Malcolm thought she looked like a traffic light Spooky was scared by Cocoa’s demanding presence He dashed straight through Malcolm and hid behind him
Tell Mom I’ll be there in a minute Malcolm said Cocoa glared hands on hips I’m not your messenger Now come eat And tell your goofy friend he has to go home Her lips curled into a devilish grin It’s a school night He couldn’t think of anything clever to say so Malcolm simply stuck out his tongue Nerd Cocoa yelled stomping away Malcolm turned to Dandy There is one good thing about going back to school tomorrow What’s that Dandy wondered Seven full hours away from her
Up and At Em eeg eeg eeg The only sound worse than Cocoa’s annoying screech was that of the alarm clock The sound made Malcolm want to shed his skin He slapped the off button and tumbled out of bed His plan to visit the bathroom failed when he discovered his sister had made camp in there
You’re not the only person in this house you know Malcolm loudly reminded her It’s the first day of school she called back through the closed door I have to look perfect If that’s what you’re waiting for you’ll be in there for eternity Malcolm muttered as he walked away He tried his parents bathroom but Grandma Eunice occupied it She’d obviously finished her morning prunes Malcolm gave up and headed to the kitchen for breakfast He dropped two pieces of bread into the toaster While he waited he remembered the time he’d tried converting that very toaster into an alien heat ray When the toast was ready he poured a glass of orange juice His mom had
