Something Very Sad Happened: A Toddlers Guide to Understanding Death
for Isaac Your love is a constant light in my life I wish I’d had this book to read to you back then B Z for Kristy and John and for all those who have lost someone close to them much too early F K
Dear reader First let me express my condolences for your loss My son isaac was two years old twenty-six months to be exact when my mother died suddenly although he was fully aware of this event and tried his best to understand he still had trouble processing the loss after we explained grandma’s body stopped working he even commented she just needs new batteries i had trouble knowing what to say when he asked questions particularly given that i was in shock and grieving this horrible unexpected loss When parents are suffering and their children are suffering it is a dual process as i was in the habit of reading to him every day i searched for a book that would help him and help me know how to best help him process this terrible event however there were no books written for his age group i found great ones that were for children ages four and up and wonderful ones for six to ten-year-olds but none that were geared for the developmental age of two or three so i wrote this book for two and three-year-old children i assure you that by helping your child understand and work through their grief you will not only excel in your parenting role but be better able to focus on your own grieving as well Best wishes Dr Bonnie Zucker
Acknowledgments Thank you to the people who held me Brian emily rudy Bauer ilene norm Lisa sandy and Barbara Kaye Mary alvord Bernie Vittone and robert Footer Thank you endlessly to sarah Fell and Kristine enderle for making this book happen
How to Use This Book This story is intended for you to read to your two to three-year old child it can also be used as a starting point for children a little older but they may benefit from more information than that which is provided here since the two to three-year-old child cannot read you can personalize the story by using the name of the loved one who died and the correct pronouns You will find that certain words are color-coded in red to cue to you to substitute with the person who died grandpa Daddy or Mommy for example and to change the pronouns from she to he and her to him when appropriate Though subtle this distinction is really useful for children as it will help them understand better You may wish to read it yourself first before reading it to your child to help you have the flow when reading it to your child it is best to read this story as soon as possible after the death occurs try to find a quiet space to read the story to your child and allow time to help your child process the story and drawings and answer questions i recommend reading it during the day not as a bedtime story introduce the story by saying something like i have a special story to read to you it’s about Grandma i would not push reading it if your child is not focused or uninterested say no problem i’ll leave it here and we can read it later
