black car with a golden post horn on its hood had just appeared between the fir trees Gerd rushed out to the gate waving her arms like a conductor Stop she shouted at the driver He rolled down the window We are freshly raked here Freshly raked gravel She reached out for the envelope he was about to put into the mailbox I'll take that The car disappeared Gerd hummed as she ripped open the envelope But as she read the hum fastened in her throat Inspection she muttered and her anxious eyes swept over us all Almost as if she was counting us She didn't need to count I knew that Not a day went by without Gerd reminding us that there were fifty one of us at the orphanage Renfanan was a home for fifty children with not one more allowed Ha ha Aaron hissed raising his eyebrows Some one's gonna be toast I stopped shaking my sheet and wiped my forehead It wasn't especially hot outside but you got sweaty
standing and flapping your arms like that What I asked What do you mean by toast He opened his eyes as wide as two fried eggs Don't you know that Gerd gets rid of the ones she doesn't want Gets rid of I whispered My stomach lurched uncomfortably Has them killed He nodded Maybe not right away he said But haven't you heard what she did once to a kid she had trouble with I shook my head Aaron stepped closer I heard he hissed glancing at Gerd that a long time ago there was a kid she couldn't stand One night she put the kid on the back of her bike and took off Then she left the kid in an old shed where nobody lived and there was nothing to eat It was so little it couldn't do anything Then Gerd came home and never went back And the child died I stared at him He nodded and smiled the whole way up to his ears Ha I said You're lying
Aaron shrugged Maybe he said Maybe not But she won't be able to drag me away because I'm too strong He slapped the pillow to the ground with a crack Gerd was still reading the letter Tuesday the second she mumbled The inspection group checks hygiene and routinely counts the children Yours sincerely Tord Fjordmark She swallowed and chewed her bottom lip Then she looked up and saw that a few of us were standing and staring at her Oh well she said pretending to be calm we'll make sure everything's clean by then Including fingernails She gasped Jonna I started when she said my name that way hard and loud It's not usually a good sign Gerd strode crossly over and stood with her sharp chin pointing at me Do you think that sheet will get any cleaner clutched in your grubby little paws eh I looked at my hands I'd forgotten to wash them again The sheet I was holding was really dirty Gerd snatched it from me No wonder it's so
crowded here she ranted waving the sheet No wonder You can all stay here until you're sixty all of you Then I might as well start an old people's home instead It was It didn't occur to her that she'd be as dead as a pickled herring and buried in the ground by the time we kids were sixty I shuddered anyway a terrible thought still being at Renfanan Gerd wasn't really so ghastly but she wasn't a real mother It felt like all of us children were a nuisance to her If someone got the flu or pneumonia it put her in a bad mood because it was extra trouble And if someone hurt their knee and it bled her only worry was about stains on the carpets A real mother would feel sorry for their child but Gerd only felt sorry for herself That was the difference She turned to me You've been here for nine years now Haven't you learned to wash your hands before you pick things up I felt my cheeks flame Some of the others giggled as they always did when Gerd scolded me which was
