apologized and said he could definitely see my point Mr Arnold didn’t talk about my obsessive worrying worrying like it was some huge deal He said he felt concerned concerned a lot too about the state of the world and that the only thing that ever helped his anxiety was when he did something He encouraged me to fix one tiny problem I worried about Mr Arnold said this was all we could do and that if everyone on Earth worked on one problem we’d all be just fine Probably And if not I should practice my instrument anyway anyway because we had a concert coming up Toward the end of the school year I researched and wrote a feature for my school paper about plastic and why it’s so bad for the ocean We only use most plastic items once and throw them out but a lot of things like bags and water bottles and stuff are never recycled They pollute the Earth for years and years I spent a long time on that article even though no one told me to Everyone liked my story Olivia said she would never touch a plastic bag or plastic water bottle again 6
for as long as she lived She was already using a metal water bottle but I appreciated what she said anyway Mom lost her mind telling practically everyone everyone she knew about the article She kept saying See Abby Doesn’t it feel great to do something positive It was super annoying I could make a whole list of Mom’s YOU CAN DO IT sayings but I’d rather not because I hear them more or less constantly My mother looks like a gymnast like a small bundle of muscle and energy with her hair kept short because it’s more efficient that way I’m completely different long-limbed and awkward with dark thick long hair that always clogs the shower drain Anyway after I wrote that article every time I saw a piece of plastic trash outside I stopped and picked it up so it wouldn’t find its way to the ocean Picking up garbage kind of became my hobby It felt good until I googled What actually happens to our recycling Some questions have not-great answers which is why being able to ask them anywhere anytime isn’t always the best 7
Mom is an optimist who believes the future will get better that the present moment and all of its issues can be solved for My knotted-up stomach and I are not so sure Have you ever scrolled through your phone for a few minutes then climbed into the narrow space between your bed and the wall covered yourself up with a comforter and wished you could escape I have 8
2 T minus 33 days to launch One night three days before we leave I can’t eat I’ve just said goodbye to Olivia I know I will have zero friends once we move Mainly because I don’t plan on making any I look around our boxed-up living room and chew on my bottom lip Goodbye carpet stain shaped like New Jersey Goodbye curtains sewn by Grandma Goodbye super-loud creak in the kitchen floor Can’t you move by yourself I mumble to Mom who is packing up the kitchen I’ll visit you on weekends Just because you have to move to Florida Florida to save the world doesn’t mean we all do I’ve been to Merritt Island a few times on family trips family because Mom’s obsessed with the Kennedy Space Center All I really remember about the place 9
