Dandy grinned This is why turtles never get bopped on the noggin He zipped the jacket back up burying his head Mail Carrier Nancy strolled up the sidewalk Here’s your mail She handed Malcolm a tall stack of envelopes of every shape and size Thanks he said grabbing the stack Dandy was sitting back on the steps playing tug-of-war with his sneaker Did it come Malcolm shuffled through the stack There was a bright pink envelope for Cocoa It smelled like the girly stores at the mall Gag There were four envelopes for Grandma Eunice Three were addressed to Senior
Citizen and one was a sample box of laxatives Malcolm’s mom got an envelope full of super-saver coupons and an invitation to a bridal shower Malcolm always wondered why the bride couldn’t just take a bath like everyone else And there was an electric bill addressed to his dad Poor Dad All he ever got was bills Malcolm thumbed through each one trying not to spill them on the ground And just as he’d hoped his envelope was on the bottom It was crinkly and brown and sealed tight Yes He was ready to rush in and open it but Dandy was now swaying back and forth He was dancing with that sneaker It’s crammed in tight he told Malcolm
Just leave it Dandy I can’t These sneakers cost me about a year’s worth of allowance My dad’ll kill me Dandy moaned Malcolm surveyed the situation I think you’re pulling the wrong direction I’ll grab one side you grab the other On the count of three pull back okay Daddy gripped one side and nodded One two THREE The sneaker popped loose flew high into the air and uh-oh landed on the roof Both boys stared up at the sneaker and blinked a few times Just leave it Dandy said zipping his jacket up over his head
X-Specs Malcolm dropped the stack of mail on the hall table and hurried to his basement lab Dandy stumbled along behind him Open it Dandy urged Hang on I don’t want to just rip into it This thing is delicate Malcolm replied No I mean open my jacket The zipper’s stuck
