Avengers: Endgame: The Pirate Angel, the Talking Tree, and Captain Rabbit
when Loki and I were children Loki transformed transformed himself into a snake and because I really really loved snakes I went to pick it up But the moment I did the snake transformed back into Loki and then he stabbed me It was at least ten seconds before Rocket spoke And when he finally did he sighed and said Why do I have the feeling you tell this story a lot Like A LOT Thor smiled wanly Maybe a few times he acknowledged I bet this Loki gets a big kick out of it every time you tell it Rocket said chuckling The thin smile on Thor’s face quickly fell Not anymore were the only words Thor could manage before he turned away Rocket and Thor had known each other for only a few hours They had met under poor circumstances which were the only circumstances circumstances that Rocket seemed to know these days
The Guardians of the Galaxy had picked up a distress call from an unknown vessel and traveled to its last-known coordinates on a desperate rescue mission Well maybe the motivation for the mission wasn’t quite so much rescue as it was the potential of receiving receiving a huge reward The ship’s coffers were running low and expeditious as always the crew was looking to do good but also to store up some funds But when they arrived the Guardians found nothing but debris floating through space And corpses It seemed like anyone who had been aboard the distressed craft had been killed by person or persons unknown Or at least that’s what they’d thought until someone had slammed into the Guardians cockpit Bringing the survivor aboard Rocket and the Guardians had learned that the man god child of a pirate and an angel’s name was Thor and he was an Asgardian They’d also learned that the ship in distress was Asgardian in
origin and it had been destroyed by Thanos Thanos the so-called Mad Titan Rocket thought Thanos was a real jerk Not just for destroying the Asgardian ship and all its occupants though there was that No Rocket thought he was a jerk for everything he had done to Rocket’s fellow Guardian and friend Gamora daughter of Thanos He had heard firsthand what Gamora had gone through under Thanos’s watch beginning beginning from the time Thanos had killed half of her people the Zehoberei and taken Gamora as his adopted daughter He pitted Gamora against another daughter Nebula engaging them in a deadly rivalry designed to turn both of them into perfect killing machines It worked And for a long time it had cost the two women their souls Jerk
You’re in a foul mood rabbit Thor said shaking his head I’m in a foul mood Yeah I wonder why Rocket said sarcastically Surely it had nothing nothing to do with pirate-angel progeny constantly mistaking him for a rabbit I am Groot said the tree trying to steal a look over Rocket’s shoulder The diminutive Guardian quickly clutched the tablet to his chest and got up from his seat Stop sneaking up on people like that Rocket yelled How many times do I gotta tell you It’s creepy I am Groot Ugh Ever since you got a little sap you’re a total brat Rocket said as he walked over to a bin and deposited the tablet safely within Why do I have the feeling that you say that to him a lot Thor interjected Like a lot Rocket stared daggers at Thor Are you makin fun of me No Thor said innocently Of course not
