The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl: Squirrel Meets World
3 SQUIRREL GIRL It will be said her mom who looked similar to a lot of other moms you've probably seen around i.e. human with no squirrel tail If you ignored the tail Doreen also looked similar to a lot of humans you've seen around Specifically this human was a fourteen year old of the female variety with pale freckled skin and red hair that never grew longer than her jaw Also her two front teeth were a little longer than their neighbors She had to gnaw on things to keep them from getting even longer Things like logs. Chock Full Of Squirrels Doreen repeated I researched the area before we moved sweetie and there isn't a neighborhood in New Jersey that isn't teeming with squirrels squirrels said Maureen Or any neighborhood in almost any climate anywhere in the world actually Squirrels get around Yeah Squirrels are awesome They were unpacking boxes in their new house which smelled a little damp like an overturned pile of leaves and not at all familiar Maureen was stacking their towels and sheets in the hallway linen closet Doreen was perched on the curtain rod above her window taping a poster of She Hulk onto her ceiling One time when Doreen was little she and her mom were walking 3 Mm mm logs nature's crackers Maple logs are my favorite fresh with syrup JK I don't eat logs That would be weird I just chew on them to keep my front teeth trim Which isn't weird at all If you're me
SQUIRREL MEETS WORLD down a sidewalk in Los Angeles and saw She Hulk punch a truck full of bank robbers.4 In New Jersey there was little chance Doreen would happen upon She Hulk Her new home was closer to the Avengers of course since the Super Heroes were based in New York but they were still a whole state away Can you put this on your mattress asked Maureen toss ing her daughter a sheet Doreen leaped off the curtain rod caught the sheet in an airborne somersault and landed feetfirst on her bed The Avengers on the sheet were washed out and threadbare in places The red in Captain America's suit had turned pink The Hulk's angry faces were faded to pale green blobs Doreen refused to ever get so old and serious that she'd be embarrassed to sleep on Avengers sheets She held it to her nose and inhaled It still smelled like home or their former home A little salty like the California air A little salty like the tiny tears of the squirrel friends who had gathered on her bed that final night to say their farewells Doreen sniffed A small whimper escaped her throat Oh sweetie said Maureen I know it's hard Why don't you go out and prowl around huh Meet some new friends You can finish unpacking later 4 Also one time I saw She Hulk walk into a smoothie shop but the punching a truck to make it stop was more memorable
SQUIRREL GIRL Doreen nodded Her tail swished as if it were excited to get outside Just don't stay out late okay punkin said her mom The real estate agent warned us that Shady Oaks isn't like our old neighborhood where it's safe to roam around after dark No sweat Doreen bounded down the hallway jumped from the top step to the bottom and opened the front door Here I am New Jersey she said Doreen Green age four teen Over five feet tall and not an inch mean Inspired by her name sometimes she liked to rhyme It wasn't her strongest skill She stepped outside and felt a pleasant but alarmingly unfa miliar sensation a breeze tickling her tail hairs Doreen her mother called from the top of the stairs Your tail Doreen leaped back and slammed the front door shut She hadn't made that mistake since she'd been tiny and barely old enough to understand that girls with squirrel tails have to hide them snugly away Everyone who saw you would feel so sad that they don't have a tail too her mother always said Above all we must be kind Hide your tail keep your secrets secret Doreen had always suspected there were other reasons to keep this particular secret secret Secret reasons in fact But Doreen dutifully tucked her tail into the seat of her pants It was mostly fluffy fur and fur compacted pretty well
SQUIRREL MEETS WORLD Good girl said Maureen Doreen opened the front door again but she didn't feel like rhyming anymore She felt half as clever half as strong half as interesting Half herself She sniffed the air detected the direction of tree pollen and squirrel nests and turned left Off to make friends and climb trees The neighborhood was old The trees were so large their roots had grown under the sidewalk cracking it from below The houses were mostly two stories standing close together and at attention A breeze rustled discarded cans and wrappers in the gutters and sent litter rolling down the sidewalk The tree smells led Doreen to a large neighborhood park A soccer field there was crawling with kindergarteners kicking in the general vicinity of a ball and occasionally at each other Their parents pointed frantically at the ball and shouted Kick that Kick that Over a hillock on an expanse of green Doreen spied a few people around her age They were wearing sort of belted nightgowns with knee high boots and hats long vests and lots of leather Was the fashion in New Jersey so different from California Their apparent leader was a kid with deep brown skin his hair a short Afro under a feathered cap He sported a terry cloth cloak and kept calling out Forsooth Forsooth Doreen had never met anyone in a towel cape yelling For sooth before She was intrigued
